If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

Nobody gets out of here alive.

The only sure things are death and taxes.

It’s always darkest just before it goes completely black.

Right now, somebody somewhere hates you.

You may already be dying of cancer.

She probably doesn’t love you like you love her.

Eeyore was right.

So what?  Who cares?

What’s it all about, Alfie? about, Alfie?

Another day older and deeper in debt.

The gods must be laughing.

Nothing really matters.

No one is listening.

Your best days are behind you.

Same shit, different day.

Why bother?

Poor, poor pitiful you.

The hell with it.

Opportunity knocked.  You weren’t in.

Just say no.

Don’t quit your day job.

We’ll call you if we need you.

Sorry.  Fresh out.

Don’t bother coming back.

What part of “downsized” don’t you understand?

Big deal.

Who invited you?

I like you too.  Not.

Life sucks.

You may go now.

At least you can be a bad example.

You won’t be missed.

Just accept what you can’t change.

Beat it.

Give up.  It’s hopeless.

Cut your losses.

It was over before it even started.

It’ll never work.

Murphy’s Law.  Need I say more?

You’re no fun. about, Alfie?

Expect the worst.  You won’t be disappointed.

You can’t afford it.

What hole did you crawl out of?

Clean out your desk.

Too late.

Jerk.

Get a life.

Loser.

Not good enough.

And the horse you rode in on.

Thank you for playing.

Never again.

Oh, well.  Winning isn’t everything.

You snooze, you lose.

Nope. Not a chance.

They won’t.

He forgot.

I’m afraid I can’t help you.

Nothing doing.

Why try?

It’s unfair.

Stop.

No more.

It’s just not worth it.

Old and bitter.

It’s leaking.

You didn’t win.

Shut up.

He’s dead, Jim.

You’ve hit bottom.

You’re screwed.

I have a boyfriend.

Who needs this?

It’s expired.

We’re so over. about, Alfie?

No way.

You’re a marked man.

You failed.

On your knees!

Don’t touch me.

Time’s up.

Downer.

You’ve been dumped.

Pariah.

It won’t change a thing.

Bugger off.

I’m busy tonight.  And every night.

Nobody likes you.

You’re finished.

Any last words?

When I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it.

Stupid of you.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Get out of my face.

That was dumb.

Your ass is grass.

You made me cry.

Leave the way you came.

With you?  As if.

Terminate with extreme prejudice.

Not likely.

It won’t start.

Has-been.

That was your last chance.

You’re fired.

You got problems.

I hope you choke.

This court finds you guilty.

Damn you.

Coyote ugly.

Doomed.

You blew it.

If I never see you again, it’ll be a week too soon.

Dead meat.

Rot in hell. about, Alfie?

I think we should see other people.

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.